Outlandish excuses who failed to submit their self assessment return by deadline

Following previous topic we thought might be interesting to share some of outlandish excuses who failed to submit their self assessment return by deadline. So enjoy ;)

✔ "I couldn't file my return on time as my wife has been seeing aliens and won't let me enter the house";
✔ "I've been far too busy touring the country with my one-man play";
✔ "My ex-wife left my tax return upstairs, but I suffer from vertigo and can't go upstairs to retrieve it";
✔ "My business doesn't really do anything";
✔ "I spilt coffee on it".